“There are far greater things ahead than any we leave behind.” C.S. Lewis
Isn’t it interesting how quickly life can get in the way of best laid plans? I mean, we can have the best intentions of doing something but does it ever really get done? My mom calls this strange phenomenon stress paralysis: the state of being so overwhelmed that you literally can do nothing. To be honest, that has been me the last month or two. My mom will tell me to do something and I will go to my room, lay on my bed, and stare at the ceiling for hours. I have wasted so much time staring at my ceiling thinking about what I need to do. I don’t know if anyone else could agree but I could compare my senior year in high school to being a vegetable. Recently, I realized that part of the reason my stress paralysis was so terrible was my whacked priorities. I have since been making an attempt to rearrange them and get them where I want to be. The last few months my priorities have been (in this order) friends, school, God, family. That is just so bad. I’ve been trying to fix that though and right now my priorities are God, family, school, friends. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not totally forsaking my friends altogether. I am just not letting them rule my life anymore. Ironically enough, ever since this happened, the people I had spent the majority of time trying to please walked right out of my life. That’s not a bad thing, because now I see the people who have truly been there for me along the way. I know this is completely unrelated to my bucket list, but sometimes you just gotta vent. Plus, I think you can’t truly see the beauty around you until you have yourself together. Being a mess all the time just makes the beautiful things dull and the bad things worse. So in some ways, yes, it does relate.
As for my bucket list, I have recently completed some more stuff.
11) Win a scholarship. Now this was an interesting adventure. I was approached by someone in my church to enter the American Legion’s oratorical competition. I agreed without fully knowing the terms. To make a long story short, I procrastinated and ended up writing an 8 minute speech on the Constitution with a week to memorize it. The first stop was regional competition, where I competed against myself an automatically advanced to the state competition. At state, I spent two hours in a little room with 5 other contestants. I was nervous, but in the end it was worth it. My dad was so proud of me. I think that alone made it worth it. I ended up getting second place in the state of Arizona and have altogether won almost $1,200. More importantly, though, I gained a lot of friends. The kids I competed against were great. The American Legion members from my region drove almost two hours to come support me at my competition. I am so thankful for them. Being pushed way out of my comfort zone ended up, in retrospect, being way better than I thought.
12) See a play. I saw my school’s production of “You Can’t Take it With You”. It was fantastic.
13) Dress up for no reason (that one is pretty self explanatory)
14) Dress up everyday during spring fling. My school has a yearly spring fling, almost like a mini homecoming. Everyday has a different dress up theme. I really wanted to dress up every day this year because it’s my senior year and I won’t have the opportunity again. Plus, it’s an excuse to look ridiculous. Here’s one example:
Well that’s all for me. Thanks for letting me vent, even if it didn’t make much sense!